The Sweetest Thing

Hmmm where to start.

I'm pretty sure I've talked it all out this time around, and I've been much to busy to have an epiphany... well cept when I was talking to Babers today.

So to update the world this was this weekend, talked with SW about some stuff that has been bugging her, the talk is summed up as follows:

She doesn't hate the D2,cause she doesn't know him, "you can't hate some one you don't know" she "resents him" (but you can't get to know someone you can't spend five minutes around with out blowing up and storming off.) (even though I've heard her say, "i don't like D2, at all." but whatever. She didn't explain that anymore, and I didn't ask.

She's not jealous of me. She's happy for me. He makes me happy. She does want to hear about him, but just not in the vomit way, and 'face' is literally ready to physically vomit on me. (I'm sorry? you're happy for me, but I have to censor how I talk about chunky? Somehow I'm not seeing how that's being a good friend) And I realize that happy for me doesn't mean she wants to hear about it all the time, which is why I try not to flaunt it (so to speak) in her face. I know what it's like to be the one that everyone has some one and is happy and you don't.

I apparently act like 16 year old with her first boyfriend around her, and am totally following my gut instincts. To which I can only roll my eyes and say, if she only knew how many times my gut saying "oh go for this!" and I choose not to take an action. Yes I know I act quite childlike and giddy with D2. But that's part of my personality that i don't feel I can be like with most people, well the giddy. I'm always childlike. And Everything within me wanted to be "SW, if this ends in the goal that both of us are heading towards (barring the fact that God's will may be shown to be something different) and we get married, then it's only gonna get worse. you know that right?" but I didn't.

And my personal favorite! She doesn't like being around D2 because I act like a bitch when I'm around him. I honestly have been going through the times we've been around each other all together, and the only thing I've come up with is... I sit with him, and he puts his arm around me, so I'm not sitting with them. But that could be just cause I'm in the situation and I can't see it. So do I? Act like a bitch I mean?

She says she knows it's because it's new and I'm still trying to impress the boyfriend, and make him like me more, so I don't want him around other girls because I'm being protective and what not

Uh what? I know he likes me just the way I am. And me and him have actually talked about it. I've even told him he should go talk to other girls, you know that. So on that (the bitch) one I'm honestly at a loss.

Sis thinks that maybe, perhaps (she's not sure, but she knows it's this way with her and face and sis's bf.) that maybe SW says things towards D2 that are on the mean side that could be taken playfully, but since I know she doesn't like him, I get defensive and snap at her. Which I suppose is a possibility, but again I can't think of anything, since most of the time... she just kinda ignores him.

Oh and she feels like I'm ditching my friends. may or may not be true. I know it's seemed like it this past week, since I worked so much, and it was all closes and school and such, but I was still making the effort, at least with SW, face not so much, but that's cause Of the whole Face/KC thing. SW wasn't here the start of my closing week (not this most recent weekend but the one before that) and then had things she was doing on those days and times I could do something.

So the only thing out of all of this that I could change is to tell her that I know she's used to more spontaneity, but with so much pull for my time from other people, we're just going to have to set aside a day or time each week and say from this time to this time. It's our time.

I know it's bad of me, but, I'm more inclined to not take her concerns seriously. Well as seriously, because 1) I can't see much truth in them, and 2) it's two people (well one... who tells me what the other's saying; face and SW) out of EVERYONE and I mean everyone who knows D2, knows me, has seen us together. Everyone else (including my parents) are ok with everything, and actually love him and say how perfect we are for each other.

~end of recap/pastings~

So now for my slight epiphany whilst talking Babers. She's going through a really rough time. In a small way, I understand where she is.

Any way we were talking about why for some people it's so hard and it seems trial after trial after trial. Where as other people it just falls into place (seemingly for){of course we were discussing relational issues...}

And you know it hit me then. Those who go through all the hard places and hold out through them, and wait patiently for just the right thing, when they finally get it, it will be infinitely sweeter to them, than anything that those who seemingly have everything fall into place.

So, Babers, hold out for it. Don't settle. I love you more than I could ever say, and don't worry, I've got one end of the net, in case you fall off the trapeze. HE holds the other, and He'll never leave nor forsake you, and I'll be around to help you up, and push you back out there to try it again, 'til you bet it right. :D