I had a bit of a realization last night.

I have to learn to trust other people better.

That is all.

I really miss my friend Babers. She hasn't been on a lot because of school, and i haven't been on a lot because of work and school. We are both at similar spots in our lives so it's nice to talk to her.

Going dress shopping with Sis today. It's gonna be fun!

--more--

And more Boyfriend news (and yes until I come up with an appropriate nickname he shall be boyfriend, and he didn't like mine... so oh well) [eta D2 it shall be]

But I have this habit of making him uncomfortable sometimes. Sometimes I don't do it on purpose, sometimes I do.

I'm not... prudish... I guess when it comes to things dealing with sex. To me it's just another subject matter, that while I may not bring up, (time and place for everything and all) But if it's brought up around me I'm not gonna shy away from it.

I guess part of it has to do with the way I was raised. I used to be that kid who thought sex was a bad word and would blush a little at the mere mention of the word.

But I finally realized, that really that wasn't God's plan. I think that to many kids raised in the church go into marriage with that mind set-- sex is bad-- and it screws them up.

That and I have brothers.

I made him really uncomfortable last night, and for that I'm sorry. But I'm even more sorry I didn't trust him. He knows what I'm talking about. I think, if not he'll ask and then he will.

--more--

I'm kinda of sick of it. that is all.

Part of me just wants to quit it. But I know I can't. I don't want to care. But I can't help myself, I do.

Why can't she just trust me? and what she knows about me? Why does she doubt my loyalty?
I shouldn't fret about it. I know I shouldn't. But I'm going to gosh darnit. Cause contrary to her opinion I do care about her.
~E

--30--