Hello again.

So I just have a few things to say.

I absolutely love who I am. Most of the time. Occasionally, occasionally one of my strengths out of balance bugs me.

Sometimes I want to change who I am. But I don't feel the freedom to do so, well not the freedom to do so, but the freedom to change the things I would like too.

And here's were I get to brag on my boy. I don't have that problem with him. He likes me for who I am, just the way I am. That! gives me the freedom to be better, my best. Not only gives me the freedom, but makes me desire to be the best that I can be.

And here's were I correlate that.

I was thinking about it last night when he was over. Well mostly the bragging part not the correlation, the correlation came during sleep/this morning.

That's exactly how Christ is and wants us to be with Him. He loves and accepts us exactly as we are. That is so freeing, but most people miss it, because they get so caught up in His perfectness that they feel intimidated and feel they have to be perfect instantaneously. But that isn't true. HE LOVES us the way we are. But He Loves us to much to leave us the way we are. Because of that acceptance we have the freedom to change as things that aren't healthy for us, or perhaps aren't us at our best are brought to light.

And I have a lot more to write about. And I will but lunch calls so until then.

--more--

So D2 came over last night and we read together some. It was nice; he's way cute and awkward sometimes. I like it.

I don't know if he knows I noticed but he was tracing his initials into my leg last night. It was tres cute.

He also said something about how I had to go and ruin it, he had almost got it were he could play with my hand and me not play back.

What he doesn't know... but he does now... skank ... is that it was pretty much only cause I was sleepy and quite content.

It's odd really. I was listening to Casting Crown's 'The Voice of Truth' the other day and it just really hit me, that sometimes I do wish to "step out of my comfort zone/into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is/and He's holding out his hand."

I have wished that for a long while. And when I'm not with D2, sometimes it scares me how much it is the unknown, and I don't know what I'm doing. It's those times that Christ is just like, 'trust me. I have a plan'

On the flip side when I am around him (both the boy and Christ, for the two are mutual in many ways.) It's just... comfortable. I don't really think about any thing like that.

D2 makes me happy; anyone can pretty much see that. He makes me happy for one of the main reasons, he truly and honestly want God first in both our lives. Which takes the pressure off of both of us so much.

It makes me laugh, though that everyone keeps cautioning me that it might not work out. I laugh, not because what they say is invalid, but that I know this. I tell people this.

And here's the thing. Yes I know that if we don't work out, then yes, it'll hurt, for both of us. But I can rest assured in knowing that even if it hurts for a little while, I will be ok, as will he, because 1) we are both seeking God's Will in all of this. 2)that means that we weren't God's Will for each other, but that the time we did get to spend together was. And because of that. We both want to be edifying and help grow the other.

D2 does. He forces me to attempt things (and keep attempting) that I may think I can't do.

This is gonna come as a shock to those that know me. But I'm really a shy person. Particularly in areas or situations that are new to me, or in which I don't know what is expected of me. I'd prefer to sit back and observe til I am comfortable, but my Boy says "uh yeah, no. Go do it."

Sometimes that's exactly what I need.

In other news!

Nothing big planned this weekend. Chilling with my friends and boyfriend, monday there's a concert in the works (oh switchfoot! and third day! i love thee!)

I haven't talked to my parents in a bit. it's been crazy busy this week. Closing everynight. I need to call my dad tonight at some point.

My sisters baby shower date was set. I'm uber cited. Hope it's a boy. I'll write more later.
~E --30--