My dear readers, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. Mostly my fault as while I have had much to write about, even in this medium of relative anonymity I find it difficult to express my self on certain subjects, mostly personal, to those I know do read this blog on occasion.
For the first time in my life, I just don't know. And it scares me to death. I LIKE knowing, what's just one step ahead, what's going to happen, where i'm going. I thrive on knowledge.
But I can also see (now, not a few weeks ago though) how this is good for me. I may have no idea what I am doing with my life, and I'm scared to death I may never achieve whatever it I would like to, even long to achieve, but it's ok.
I know, I know, you may now stop looking at the screen like I've lost my mind. I mean... I may have lost it... but that is moot, as that would probably require me having one to begin with.
It's ok, because my dependence on knowledge and my manic need to know hinders what Christ want's to do in my life. I don't like it. It's not comfortable for me, and I'll probably still fight it in some realms. (cough Mo Shearc cough) but I'm going to try, and that in and of itself is a big step for me.
--30--
2008/08/05
To know.... is not divine?
Posted by WanderingEowyn at 8:16 AM
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1 Musings of Other Wanderers:
Love, you have not lost it. On the contrary, I think you've found it. I'm like you. I like to know what's going on, what's going to happen. The idea of having NO clue what I'm going to be doing in less than two years scares the heck out of me. But I think that you are in a good place. A scary place, yes, but good. It's nice to know that no matter where we are, we're not alone. God's with you, Mo Shearc is with you, and you're NEVER getting rid of me. :D Don't worry. Everyting's going to be fine, even when we don't know what's around the corner. I love you, skank!
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